It’s been a year…

Greetings from France!

Please forgive this short and rambling Substack. I’m on holiday and I’ve had a bit of time to think and reflect. Isn’t that what people do on holiday? Or just me? Anyway, it’s been a year, well, nearly a year, since I stopped teaching. It’s gone so quickly, I’ve hardly had a chance to think about it, until now.

These are some of my (random) thoughts:

1. I’m sleeping better. That’s not to say that I sleep well all the time, but I’m definitely more rested. I regularly woke up before 6am. I thought that this was just who I was: an early bird, a morning person. Now I wake up after 6am most of the time. I know that’s not particularly late, but it feels like a real shift. If I have an early start I have to rely on an alarm! I’ve also noticed that my HRV status (as tracked by my garmin) has shifted significantly. Last June it was averaging around 40-60ms, this June it’s between 85-116ms. Now I don’t really understand heart rate variability, but I do know that it’s healthier now- I’m not in as much of a ‘fight or flight’ mode.

   

2. When I was working I bought clothes, shoes and beauty products fairly often. Sometimes I needed them. Sometimes I didn’t. But I did love coming home from work to a little gift to me, from me. I don’t know if it’s because our house is smaller, I’m not earning as much or I’m just not looking for a dopamine hit in the same way, but the little packages aren’t arriving as often! Of course I still shop, but it’s at a slower pace and I really think about want versus need.

   

3. I’m (finally) drinking more water. I’ve never been a ‘water’ person. I grew up in the 80s. It wasn’t a thing. Health wise though, I know I should drink more, because I literally drank none. I hydrated with decaf tea. Finally I’m aiming for one small bottle a day. It’s not the 2 litres we’re meant to aim for but, you know, baby steps. Why the change? Maybe it’s because I don’t have to worry about not being able to go to the toilet during teaching time!

   

4. I don’t run every day. I mean sure, I still do some kind of exercise most days (everyday? Maybe), but there has definitely been a kind of easing of the pressure. I don’t need running quite as much as I used to.

   

5. I’m drinking less alcohol. I wouldn’t have said I was a huge drinker, but I did really look forward to it. I always used to have at least three days with no alcohol at all. Now it’s four. I often had a cheeky G&T while cooking dinner, followed by wine with dinner. Now I rarely have both. I have a whole load of non alcoholic beers in the fridge though!

   

Of course some of these things may just be coincidental, but it’s good to reflect to see how far I’ve come and how I had a whole raft of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms! Teaching is a tough job. I loved it and gave it everything I had for a really long time. I know I missed out on experiences and time with friends and family because of it. I also gained a lot from it, I don’t regret teaching at all. I just wish there was more of a halfway house, less of an ‘all or nothing’ culture about it.

Here endeth the ramble. See you next week!