Some recent thoughts....

A more personal post

Do you pebble?

The definition of pebbling according to Wikipedia is:

‘..the act of offering small, meaningful objects or gestures to establish social bonds, observed in both animal behaviour and human relationships.’

In this context I am specifically thinking about the sending of silly memes, quotes and pictures to friends. I love it. It is so nice to receive a little funny clip that shows that someone is thinking of you - especially when you share the same sense of humour.

Sometimes a quote can be perfectly timed when you are having a rubbish day, and it can completely change your mood or even the course of your day.

Recently, in one group chat, we ended up having a long discussion about a particular post that had been shared:

credit: we are feel good club on Instagram.

It was point 7- ‘what is meant for you will never pass you by’- that got us talking. And it has really stayed with me over the last few weeks.

What do you think?

For me, my first thought was to flip it. If something didn’t happen or didn’t work out (as a real example, I didn’t get the job I applied for) then it wasn’t meant for me in the first place. It was meant for someone else, or maybe I wasn’t ready for it yet, or maybe there was something else out there waiting.

It’s an interesting concept that could relate to lots of different contexts: relationships (of all kinds), house moves or jobs for example. It just depends where you are in your life.

I also believe that you can create your own luck to a certain extent. I have always worked pretty hard. In every job I have had, I have worked to the best of my ability. I always HAD to work hard at school, just to keep up. I am not really a ‘coaster’. If I want something then I will put in the effort to achieve it. My family had a very strong work ethic, I don’t remember anyone taking sick days (even when they were clearly unwell!).

If you take running as an example (sorry, always with the running!), you won’t get faster unless you run faster. You can’t go out and just run a marathon. You have to put in the effort, follow the training plan to be in with a chance of achieving your goal. Of course there are elements out of your control, like the weather, health and conditions on the day, but if you haven’t done the training you won’t be ringing the PB bell.

Regular readers will know that I have been through a lot of changes over the last year. I gave up my job and moved to a new area. I’m in the process of building a new life and trying out different jobs. I have had a few setbacks. Sometimes it can feel a little bit unsettling, to have left behind the very things that you were used to and comfortable with.

Even if it was definitely time for a change.

But there are definitely no regrets.

Of course we cannot control so many aspects of life (I am a bit of a control freak on the quiet, and I probably would like to), but we can control how we react to it. Of course I don’t think that when bad things happen, that somehow people are deserving of that. I remember talking to a friend about her cancer diagnosis, saying to her how unfair it was, why should it happen to her? She replied by saying ‘why not me?’. That stayed with me when I had my cancer diagnosis, I tried to to feel sorry for myself and to react as positively as I could.

Ultimately, to think that ‘what is meant for you will not pass you by’ is a comforting thought. It has allowed me to operate with a little bit more fluidity and softness. Not to force things, but to see what sticks and what settles. To see what feels right.

I can’t find a credit for this- it was saved in my phone from 2018!

All we can do is be ourselves, try our best and trust the process. I think that’s where I have landed after all that reflection!

And I do love my friends, for allowing all that thought and discussion.

Please do leave a comment as I would love to know what you think!